Now im really have nothing else to say.

Im tired and i just want to fuck off.

If i write something it would sounds phony and pretencious.

But when I said fuck, i dont mean it as harm. Not because Im anger. I just want to be nasty. Like Wrestling in the 80s. Nasty boy there is.

Theres a power with f word. It gave u energy and control. I dont know where it comes from. Shit.

I miss something. Again. As usual. But I dont know what it is.

maybe a person, a father, a tree or a wind. I do miss someone so near to me that they gone now.

A space perhaps. Stupid space that have no face.

Ok let be honest. I think i miss my youth my grass where i play field and socre a lots of goal when im 8 years old. And I miss my mom's cook. I miss my mom. And I miss my son.

All the rest can go fuck themselves.


My job, sometimes its ok and sometimes i just want to do what Forrest once did. Run and run and run. And be rich. And have a boat named Jenny.

My job deals with human being.And I hate human being. Theyre lazy, no dicipline and they just boring. I could say this everyday while eating telur setengah masak. Sometimes I wish im like Syahrulfikri Salleh who once shout at the top of his lung "I love my job! " (or 'I love my fucking job' or either 'I fuckin love my job' im not sure) but theres f word involve. That is fuck.

I wish i could say that but I cant. Love my job? what does it mean anyway. Work is work. Im not Steve Jobs. Im not Steve O.

There is happy ending yes I believe. But its not coming that soon. Many many years from now i'll be dead insyaallah by god's will.

do I sound like im not a happy man? what does it mean anyway, to be unhappy? what does it mean anyway to be happy?

I am a happy man. Im on internet you see.

The students, at least now they know who Picasso is and how good looking he is once. But they dont remember Dora Maar's name. They dont care anyway. Do u think they really care about education? I dont think they do? But its ok anyway, not understand Modern Art doesnt mean u cant live happily ever after.

So many things to do in so little time. So many things to watch but i coose to sleep instead. But sleep is good. When im tired thats the best thing i could do.

That Facebook. That damn facebook. is it a gift from heaven or a sonet from hell? Aku jumpa kawan2 lama balik yang aku tak pernah mimpi aku akan jumpa. Thank god mereka masih ingat aku dan ingat kisah-kisah bodoh dahulu dan dalam masa yang sama bersedia untuk melupakan saat kejahilan aku.

Dan mereka mula melaungkan reunion.

Reunion? i hate that word. Mereka patut melaungkan kenderaan merentas masa dari meminta buat reunion. I will not go to any reunion. Unless theyre doing it in 5 star hotel and paying for all my expense. I want to sit by the pool and be yuppies.

ya kadang-kadang aku pun pikir apa yang aku buat ni betul atau tak. God forgive me god for being an arsehole.

Dah lama tak makan sate.

Aku cuba tengok Bob Dylans Dont Look Back lagi. Lelaki Yahudi ni hensem juga masa 20an sedangkan masa kecil dia macam gemuk rupanya. Mereka menyamakan hasil tulisannya dengan Rimbaud? Aku tak kenal sangat dengan RImbaud punya tulisan. Mungkin suatu hari nanti aku akan baca Rimbaud. tapi sekarang biarlah aku layan Blowin In the Wind dulu.

9 Julai 2011.....bukan, bukan Bersih. Ada konsert SimplySiti. AKu buat keselamatan. Apalah yang aku tahu pasal keselamatan? Tapi sebab aku yang paling bawah dalam foodchain maka itu tugas aku. No problem.
tapi pada 9hb yang aku paling kesalkan adalah aku akan ketinggalan konsert Sweet Charity dan Blues Gang. Sebelum aku mati aku pikir nak tengok Ramli Sarip nyanyi live.

Puasa lambat lagi. Tapi aku tak sabar untuk menjemput Ramadhan. Bulan yang aku kena harus sabar dan makan dengan banyak bila waktu berbuka puasa.

Setakat ini pasar Ramadhan di Saujana Utama tak thrill .Peniaga Melayu yg malas menjual air 20 gerai. Jual lauk dan nasi tak sampai 5. Whattafuck. See how powerful I?

Doakan semuanya selamat. Dan khabar-khabar angin mengatakan yang dunia akan berahir pada tahun 2012 mengikut kalender Maya itu hanya bohong semata-mata. Kasi canlah kat Naufal untuk membesar dan menonton teater dan wayang.

ya aku kata ya insyallah ya.

Catch me if you can.