LETTER TO KID: DOS AND DONTS

Dear kid,

Its me again your pa.

My fav movie is Blade Runner…ask me a thousand times and I’ll give u the same answer.

My fav album is Ok Computer..and Blonde on Blonde…ask me a thusand times and that’s what im going to give u sir.

Yesterday I went to a seminar in Putrajaya. And there I saw Tun Mahathir giving speech on topic Bangsa Malaysia. Its funny kid looking at him standing there and u can feel how real he is-..the one who u always look at pic and tv now standing alive at cha. Its absurd. Looking how healthy he is despite he is now 83 years old. Then I imagine whats going on his head. That brilliant man, what hes thinking? Whats on his mind? Whats on his head, on his brain that makes he (among other) great as he is? What upbringing that he had that makes him a good person (or bad for that matter) What his struggle that makes him stay at the top for so long and once our prime minister? What have his parents taugh him when he was a child that makes him…..well, a leader ?

Then I try to imagine u kid. U as a tiny little baby im holding in my hands. What should I put in your head? How should I train u, threat u to become great like the greats? To become like Alexandre the Great (the real one not the Oliver Stone film version…. that one have a lot of nudity) To become like Genghis Khan? Amitha batchan? Napoleon? Diego Maradona? Steve Jobs? Leo Tolstoy? William Wallace? Naom Chansky? Leonardo Da Vinci? Sallahudin? Rumi? Ghandi? Bruce Lee? ….and err….Mawi? ( I shall end up the long list of great people from the local celebrity) What should I teach u? what color should I paint u? What word should I whisper in your ears that when u listen it u want to wake up and be great, great leader, great inventor great people?

I may try to make u a perfect mankind. That’s my idea. Every parents idea when they had their first born…But I don’t believe I can turn u into a prefectman. Nevertheless mr perfect. I just want u to at least contribute something for your country, for your tribe kid when u grow up. But theres always a rule. A dos and donts for u so u not lost in a middle of your journey. So I set a rule. A guideline more like , a simple one. And this is rules for u to follow kid, either u male or female ;

1) No playing during maghrib…..cause theres hantu tetek and this hantu tetek will sorok u behind her thingy. Its scary shit kid. No one get out alive to tell the story.

2) u can go to karaoke only your 21th birthday….and I myself going to sing some Bee Gess song for u. But no pub for u. No hard rock café no planet Hollywood..if u want to listen to Awie singing I can bring him to home for u. ok

3) U cant pick friends…whoever come along can be your good friends or otherwise. Or good friends are hard to find..but hwn u find it, makes sure u don’t do anything stupid like steal their girlfriends or something like that

4) Don’t skip school…School is cool. Learning is fun. ..U gonna miss it when u old fart like me. Enjoy school while u can. U may have find your first girl/boyfriend there J Don’t believe what people said..scholl canteen got cool food too ok.

5) Don’t become a communist or Socialist no matter how poor u are..…read Hishamudin Rais blog only for fun but not for the provocation propaganda.
Or if u meet someone who corrupt your mind by telling u that Tunku Abdul Rahman is not our bapa kemerdekaan, spit on their head and kick their horny balls!

6)* its ok to watch Spielberg’s, Kubrick’s, Adam Sandler’s movie although their jewish……. cause its on DVD pirates.

7) Don’t differentiate people because the color of their skin kid….. because now Obama is the president of US of A.

8) Don’t hate the English or the Japanese so much cause u might end up support Liverpool one day ….or using Honda to work …

9) Don’t lie to me about smoking pot, sniffing gule, LSD, Cocaine, Heroin, XTC, Amsterdamn shit, Harold and Kumar shit…cause I know about that stuff too well ok kid….i have watched all the movies. And Im a big fan of Jamal Abdillah ok.

10)..Just do the right thing kid, god will bless u..rain or shine, rich or poor just do the right thing and good things will happen to u.Insyallah.

I’ll think something else kid for your dos and donts. Those are the silliest one , I know but I’ll get serious to u once u grow up and learn how to read ok. Theres so much to learn in this world cause u see im still learning myself . Its either u a fast learner or not. Its either u practise what u been teach or not. Its either u smart enough or too U lazy.
. I’ll post it later.2 cent 5 cent 50 cent . I’ll ring ring u later. But now its time to sleep.

Da……..

* Don’t take seriously this part kid im just kidding.