LETTER TO KID: MONDAY BLUES

Dear kid,

Oh i thought im not gonna come to work on Monday cause jaja will be deliver u on weekend but i thought wrong. Theres no excuse for me not to go to work. So here I am at office again worried about too much work and too little time but althought too little time too much work but i still have time to write something on my blog and why cause Cutie ask me so.

Now the baby (you!) has played trick on me.the hide and seek game which is my all time feveret game too. U notty kid lol. u can hide but u cant run i say back to her/him.So we just keep on waiting and waiting and waiting. every time jaja came to me i said to her "hah? dah nak beranak dah?" No she said. So i just continue watching tv. Thats what i been asking her everytime she show her face to me lol U should see it kid its very funny.

So what i been doing on weekend? nothing much kid. thanks for the rain it give me lots of excuse to lying back on my bed and sleep again. And thats what i been doing. Thats the good news, the bad news is jaja and my mom, they all starting to get fever. All because of me.

On saturday i went to visit another of your mom's pregnant collegue. karat is her name and shes is hospital Selayang. Thank god everything went fine with her tho perutnya terpaksa dibedah for the baby to come out. Shes got a female baby. and she not yet open her eyes. Shes cute baby, ...it makes sense cause her mom and her pa is a cute boy too.On Sunday we all went to Amcorp Mall as usual. And when the rain comes we all sleep like a baby...err not cute like u kid but sleep like baby tho we all old people hehe.

I also watching some cool movie in about time. i watched a german movies Counterfeiter, Awake, Carmen, ..and thats all. its ok not bad movie. Im easily amused kinda of a guy u know...all movies are worth watching for me. Thats why i cannot be a film critic u know lol

Now along this week going to be very hectic. Im going to be very busy with works and such. Not a good day to welcome u kid but i try to curi my time every minutes i can just to be by your side.

LETTER TO KID: DOS AND DONTS

Dear kid,

Its me again your pa.

My fav movie is Blade Runner…ask me a thousand times and I’ll give u the same answer.

My fav album is Ok Computer..and Blonde on Blonde…ask me a thusand times and that’s what im going to give u sir.

Yesterday I went to a seminar in Putrajaya. And there I saw Tun Mahathir giving speech on topic Bangsa Malaysia. Its funny kid looking at him standing there and u can feel how real he is-..the one who u always look at pic and tv now standing alive at cha. Its absurd. Looking how healthy he is despite he is now 83 years old. Then I imagine whats going on his head. That brilliant man, what hes thinking? Whats on his mind? Whats on his head, on his brain that makes he (among other) great as he is? What upbringing that he had that makes him a good person (or bad for that matter) What his struggle that makes him stay at the top for so long and once our prime minister? What have his parents taugh him when he was a child that makes him…..well, a leader ?

Then I try to imagine u kid. U as a tiny little baby im holding in my hands. What should I put in your head? How should I train u, threat u to become great like the greats? To become like Alexandre the Great (the real one not the Oliver Stone film version…. that one have a lot of nudity) To become like Genghis Khan? Amitha batchan? Napoleon? Diego Maradona? Steve Jobs? Leo Tolstoy? William Wallace? Naom Chansky? Leonardo Da Vinci? Sallahudin? Rumi? Ghandi? Bruce Lee? ….and err….Mawi? ( I shall end up the long list of great people from the local celebrity) What should I teach u? what color should I paint u? What word should I whisper in your ears that when u listen it u want to wake up and be great, great leader, great inventor great people?

I may try to make u a perfect mankind. That’s my idea. Every parents idea when they had their first born…But I don’t believe I can turn u into a prefectman. Nevertheless mr perfect. I just want u to at least contribute something for your country, for your tribe kid when u grow up. But theres always a rule. A dos and donts for u so u not lost in a middle of your journey. So I set a rule. A guideline more like , a simple one. And this is rules for u to follow kid, either u male or female ;

1) No playing during maghrib…..cause theres hantu tetek and this hantu tetek will sorok u behind her thingy. Its scary shit kid. No one get out alive to tell the story.

2) u can go to karaoke only your 21th birthday….and I myself going to sing some Bee Gess song for u. But no pub for u. No hard rock café no planet Hollywood..if u want to listen to Awie singing I can bring him to home for u. ok

3) U cant pick friends…whoever come along can be your good friends or otherwise. Or good friends are hard to find..but hwn u find it, makes sure u don’t do anything stupid like steal their girlfriends or something like that

4) Don’t skip school…School is cool. Learning is fun. ..U gonna miss it when u old fart like me. Enjoy school while u can. U may have find your first girl/boyfriend there J Don’t believe what people said..scholl canteen got cool food too ok.

5) Don’t become a communist or Socialist no matter how poor u are..…read Hishamudin Rais blog only for fun but not for the provocation propaganda.
Or if u meet someone who corrupt your mind by telling u that Tunku Abdul Rahman is not our bapa kemerdekaan, spit on their head and kick their horny balls!

6)* its ok to watch Spielberg’s, Kubrick’s, Adam Sandler’s movie although their jewish……. cause its on DVD pirates.

7) Don’t differentiate people because the color of their skin kid….. because now Obama is the president of US of A.

8) Don’t hate the English or the Japanese so much cause u might end up support Liverpool one day ….or using Honda to work …

9) Don’t lie to me about smoking pot, sniffing gule, LSD, Cocaine, Heroin, XTC, Amsterdamn shit, Harold and Kumar shit…cause I know about that stuff too well ok kid….i have watched all the movies. And Im a big fan of Jamal Abdillah ok.

10)..Just do the right thing kid, god will bless u..rain or shine, rich or poor just do the right thing and good things will happen to u.Insyallah.

I’ll think something else kid for your dos and donts. Those are the silliest one , I know but I’ll get serious to u once u grow up and learn how to read ok. Theres so much to learn in this world cause u see im still learning myself . Its either u a fast learner or not. Its either u practise what u been teach or not. Its either u smart enough or too U lazy.
. I’ll post it later.2 cent 5 cent 50 cent . I’ll ring ring u later. But now its time to sleep.

Da……..

* Don’t take seriously this part kid im just kidding.

LETTER TO THE KID part 3: ITS COOL TO BE BABY

Dear kid,

Less than a week u gonna be born...means no m0re womb for u. U know how it works? It simple kid...u growing up and your moms belly cant support u anymore. And u have no choice but to get out from the womb and hence...welcome to the world. Its a simple physic kid. But its ok kid. Womb if for dummies. World is the only cool place to live in. its time for u to face the real world. Its time for u to breath the real oxygene. How does it feel kid?

World gonna love u kid. People gonna making funny faces when they meet u. They'll come and see ya. They give u present. They touch your feet. Touch your nose touch your skin. They wrinkle when u smile kid. And of course u will not remmember what their looks like now cause your brain is still small and u cant think straight But i'll take photo of them and you and show it to u when u old enough so juast when u naughty or lazy or spoilt i just can show u the pic ture of u when u baby and said' tengok! kalau ayah tahu kau jahat bila dah besar, sejak kecik ayah dah picit-picit engkau!" hehehe....Im just kidding kid.

yes i agree its much more cool when u a baby. Everybody likes a baby. Enjoy it while u can kid cause when u start growing up..when u start growing moustache, growing bulu kaki, and all other bulus then u'll start thinking about other problem..money, love, responsibility, friendship, politic, socialism, communism, who is that Che Guevera, Why Obama is black, Why The Beatles is cool, that shit this shit.... its chaos kid. thats the reason why i said that being baby is the coolest thing ever happen to human being kid. U have no problem to think of. All u want to do is just want to suck your moms puting....

Now how many grown up people can do that?

get it what im trying to say kid? :)

oh kid, by the way the new james Bond movie is not that good ok. If u have a chance try not to watch it ok kid.

Adios.I'll post u something else later ok. meanwhile just enjoy the womb. (this is the only chance for u to kick your mom from inside) I my self dont remember how i felt when i was in there 30 years ago.

Bye kid, so long now.

Yours sincerely,

MOHD SAAD OMAR

LETTER TO THE KID part 2

dear kid,

Less than a month u gonna be born. Insyallah. means welcome to the world kid. U and other billion people try to survive in this , say, wonderful earth.

Whats world looks like u may ask? Oh kid..its the best planet in the galaxy. better than Planet Hollywood or national geography's Lonely Planet. God put us here cause this is the best planet in the whole galaxy.World is so good that aliens from thousand years of light journey visit us sometimes..especially in feudal egypt they say.

World is so good that god have created oxygene for us to breath. World is so good that we have a graviti here so he walk easily walk and not floating like in the moon.

World is good cause the sea is blue and the plant is green.

world is good cause the raining is like a bless from god above.

World is good cause the night is very cool and inspiring if u sit alone with yerself and think things u have done in your life. .

World is good cause in the morning its like a promising of a brightest lifes ahead.

world is good cause theres always a fast food shop for u.

World is good cause theres always a book shop for u to browsing.

World is good cause theres internet for u and u can always watch Youtube. And the hippies are gone now kid.

When u were born, kid....the whole system already been establish. where u can pee, where u can park your car. .....They already made rules for u to follow .U must obey ok. And all this rules are good to follow.

I already have set up things for u..... i have a TV set. Peti ais. I have radio. I have DVD cool enough for u to watch and enjoy. Its great experience kid. Hope u gonna like it. Maybe for a while i m gonna play u teletubbies or Ultraman but after u ages enough im going to put something cool stuff like Texas Chainsaw Massacre or A Clock work Orange or Project A for u.

I have cool music for u too kid. I wanna see u dance when i play some of my fav tune ok kid? Some Beatles, mars volta and even rap too but wait until u 2 years old first ok haha. Until then , dont worry im going to sing myself for your lullaby right before u going to sleep.

All in all world is a wonderful place to stay kid..if u ignore the politics and the socialist.

til then kid. Enjoy your mom's womb while u at it. World is like heaven sometimes kid...it can wait.

WELCOME KID.

Kurang dalam sebulan aku akan jadi ayah...Oh my god the thought of that could make me pengsan. tapi itu bukan bermakna aku tak suka dapat anak. Sape tak suka dapat anak...aku pengsan kerana aku tak sangka ada budak nanti akan berbinkan Mohd Saad.

kalau dulu jangankan pikir nak dapat anak...Kahwin pun dulu aku tak pernah pikir dahulu.

tapi kententuan tuhan siapa tahu...the boy/girl needs a father and i was chosen for them.

Sekarang aku tiada pilhan lain kecuali memikul tanggungjawab ini dengan sepenuh hati.

Come out come out now im ready for u kid.

So far tak decide lagi pasal nama dia. Its like a never ending struggle .

beberapa nama dipilih..antara yang aku suka adalah LYDIA IRIS. LIDIA dalam bahasa Arab ada maksudnya dan IRIS sebab bila dia dah besar nanti aku nak dia masuk IRA..(IRISH! get it? hehe ) just kidding. IRIS adalah nama bung yang aku sendiri tak pernah tengok. Well i just like the idea of naming a girl after flower, nampak feminist sikit..like Melur, Mawar, dan juga Popi. (hahaha just kidding again ok)

Kalau akhirnya LYDIA IRIS yang dipilih it suit me well....nickname dia boleh jadi DIARI. lyDIA iRIs (get it?) But the mother wont allow it when i told her this creative combination.

Well why not ..imagine at 13 years old when she have her own diary..and her nickname is DIARI too..isnt that sweet? ironic right.

Why cant we have artistic name ? Look at PAK AGI...his sons name is GIBRAN AGI. (AGI= Abdul Ghafar Ibrahim) Dont u think its a weird name? Not weird sir its cool.

not weird sir because Pak Agi is an artist and its a green light for him to have artistic name for his son. But why not me? im an artist too! right? (kah kah kah)

well aku tak kisahlah nama anak aku apa...itu aku biarkan pada mak dia. Sebab dia yang tanggung dalam perutnya 9 bulan hehe...

berikut adalah senarai nama-nama untuk bayi lelaki atau perempuan yang aku pernah consider sebagai nama anak tetapi tak sampai hati nak bagitahu kat emaknya sebab tahu dia mesti tak akan setuju;

1) Demi Masa

2) Ahmad Dhani (eceh)

3) Anwar Ibrahim (muahahah)

4) Diri.

5) Mawar.

6)Bumi something

7) Alam.

8)Deria.

10)Rumi

macam tak percaya kan? baru korang tahu betapa seninya aku...kah kah kah.